Learning to Cope

Wow! Do I have post performance blues today. There is nothing more disheartening than thinking you just about had it beat after the last audition, when it hits with the next.

Yes, friends, I just completed yet another audition last night. Another strange one where you feel like you took a breath, just got started, and never got to finish! This time, I literally wanted to look at the guy and say, "But you didn't hear what I could really do! You didn't hear my full voice, my coloratura, or my high notes." But I didn't. I just finished and walked off. I thought I was fine, but boy am I feeling it today. Really it is just the impatience of having thrown tons of options out there and none have come back yet. But man does it weigh on me. The reality is I must learn to cope with this emotion. I think perhaps I will always feel the emotion, but learning not to dwell and sink into it is going to be the key.

Again, this one was a good experience. I learned. I got out there. But boy it doesn't make it any easier to get up the next day having had no feedback. It is that mixed emotion of doing what you love and then having to see if anything pans out.

But truly, it went well. Once again, I got out there, auditioned, held up, and walked away knowing I had done my best. That is worth having.

A Happy Valentines Day

Twas a quiet Valentines Day for me this year. Not a bad thing though. Some exaggerate on that painful loneliness on this lovey dovey day of the year. Me, I thought fondly of my family and friends, sending texts and emails wishing them all a Happy Day on this Valentines Day!

Mine was full. I worked on this holiday. And prepared for a music audition. Tis becoming the story of my life.........But be heartened that I sang of love!

In short, it was just another day! :) And to be quite blunt, I was ok with that. Although I did miss my family a tinge! :)

Wanted: Qualified Manager

There is a part of my passion and profession which I absolutely hate! And yes, I do use that very strong adjective. That part involves the time spent in front of the computer doing busy, boring, paperwork---whether it is business or performing related. I just can't stand it!

Today I found myself all pumped to work on the program for my upcoming Concert. I did a promo flyer. Then I started in on the program. You know, people really have no clue what goes into preparing for a concert! I know that sounds divaish. I don't mean to be. But it really is hard, tedious work. Typing out composer names---none of which are in American. (Well, a few are). Typing out dates of guys way long dead. Putting in the foreign accent marks. Typing out translations of gushy love songs. Being sure everything is spelled right, even if it is in Old English form. Getting the spacing just right. Being sure no one is offended that their part of the bio page wasn't cut short. Getting the program to fit in just a certain amount of pages.

AHHH! I wasn't a computer major! Well, like I said, today, I was working on it. Poured over it for hours................................AND LOST THE WHOLE THING.

Ah curses!

But I did the right thing.....had the right response! PAT PAT PAT!!!! I just started again. But it is so irritating. I love singing. But I need a manager! That is all I have to say! Please someone come and save me from myself!