A Recital To Remember

Last night my private voice studio combined with the private studio of a fellow violinist and gave a community recital. What a success the evening was: from the audience to the performances! I was just so proud of my singers! What enjoyment and fulfillment I find in my teaching!!! And was pleasure I found in offering them a performing venue.

We performed at a community retirement home. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, so we only made 50 programs. We ran out! And my students and their families didn't get those 50 programs.

We gave a recital of classical, theatre, and sacred selections in voice and violin. All ages. The youngest was 7---the oldest 28. Each performed 1-2 pieces. And did so well. I was so proud that my soloists all got their breathing down. Each walked away having learned something about themselves and their singing. My philosophy is to never look at a performance as a failure----one must look at everything as a building block toward success and experience. I had some that missed words, one that forgot to copy a page for the accompanist, one that almost forgot to bow, a couple with poor posture......I could go on! But each covered so well, and truly provided a wonderful evening of music. The folks really seemed to enjoy it!

What did they all do right!!!! Breathing for one!!!!!!!!! They communicated. They all did bow at the time I told them too. And they all got through their pieces with beautiful sounds!

I am so privileged to teach such a talented group of singers.

Of course we went out afterward----those who could anyway! Caribou! Coffee, tea, and fellowship. I do so love being involved in my students' lives! Each is unique in their own way! What a privilege to be a part of that.

My pieces went ok. A constant reminder to me that physically I am not up to par. But I needed to sing last night. Shows me where I am at and what I need to do! I have developed a fear of performing due to the fact that I am afraid my body will not hold up--and it doesn't very well. So I need to work through that. It will take time, but things will get better. I sang Mozart's "Vedrai Carino" and ended with Purcell's "Hark! The Ech'ing Air." The Purcell offered a bit of a humorous event for me. As long as one is professional, anything goes---is what I learned last night!!!!! I started in on the Purcell and from the very beginning new that it was not going well! I couldn't get it in the right position, was singing flat technique-wise, and couldn't get my voice moving. So I promptly stopped right in the middle of the piece, looked at my audience, smiled and said, "Let's start again! This isn't going well, so why don't we just start again!!" They laughed, and very graciously let me start again. The funny thing is, I received comments afterward that everyone thought it was part of the song!!! What a comfort to know that others don't always know when you are not performing up to par! Here is to a steady uphill climb of improvement!

A Full, Tiring, but Fulfilling Day

My voice lesson yesterday afternoon went fairly well! But then, I would consider most of my lessons to go well. They are such an enjoyment for me, and bring along a breath of fresh air. I felt a little out of control of my voice, and didn't feel quite up to par, but Judy said it sounded fine. So we'll just trust the teacher. That is why vocalists will always need another ear to hear them. Because we cannot hear our true sound, because everything affects the voice, and because we have to go by feel, we will always need teachers and coaches!

I haven't been sleeping well recently, so I think that may account for the off-day---and I have had a lot on my mind lately. Anyway.

We sang through my Mozart, Vedrai carino and my Purcell, Hark! The Ech'ing Air. I am singing them for the studio recital on Thursday evening. I wanted to be sure they were in line! I did some translation work on the Mozart over the weekend and really feel that I am starting to understand the piece. The Purcell, well was a bit frustrating! I couldn't get the memory! And I am so hard on myself! Judy is so good about helping me chill out! But what a fast and energetic piece. I love it. Lots of colortura and fire!

We went over a French Liszt piece that I am starting. I do enjoy singing art songs! This one is proving interesting. It has some very graceful lines that I am trying to work into my voice on a sigh! We made some real headway on it, as she encouraged me to take my time through the lines----con grazia does mean "with grace" I should have known! DUH! I did some literal translation on this one over the weekend. I know I shouldn't be, but I am always amazed at how much that really does help, rather than just taking what they have at the front of the book as a literal translation.

We ended my lesson by singing an old aria that I am keeping up for auditions. I LOVE the piece. "Quel guardo il cavaliere" from Don Pasquale by Donizetti. I love Donizetti too! This piece takes a lot of strength and energy! Lots of coloratura and high notes. Very expressive too. It took a lot out of me to sing it, but it felt so good to sing it! I had so much fun and was just so thankful to actually have some energy left over to want to sing it. I was pretty tired by Monday evening though!

After my lesson, I made my way back to Schaumburg in the midst of a beginning snow storm! Yes, folks, Chicago got dumped on again! But it is beautiful. I did have one stop to make. Walmart! I am an avid tea drinker, and have to use spring water with my loose leaf teas. So it is very convenient to stop by on my way back home every two weeks to get 4 one gallon jugs of water. I must look like a dork though carrying them all by hand up to the counter. They always ask me if I would like to have them bagged! Of course I want them bagged. It isn't like I didn't just struggle up to the counter with them. Do they think I am going to struggle all the way to my car.

I did make it home in good time. Stopped and practiced real quick. I wanted to be sure I could completely get through my two pieces for Thursday. I did, then went home to a wonderful meal of meatloaf, broccoli, and salad. So ended a very full, tiring, but fulfilling day!

An Inspiring Night of Barber!

Friday night was an incredible evening for me---filled with delicious food, fabulous company, and a perfect performance of Rossini's Barber of Seville. My friend and I went downtown Chicago for what we hoped would be an enjoyable evening. We were quite delighted that we were treated to a superb evening.

We started out at Emil's--which I highly recommend. A little pricey, but perfect for before-the-opera formal dining. I had Lake Superior White Fish with a citrus glaze, steamed vegetables, and a mixture of hummus, tomato, and artichoke dip. INCREDIBLE!!!!! The fish was topped with a thin layer of glaze, the citrus part coming from three thin slabs of lemon, orange, and grapefruit rounds. I believe my veggies were asparagus and carrots. The dip was fabulous. I have never had hummus! But I am now a fan of it! I ate every bite of fish and veggies on my plate. Mary had grouper, which she gave me a small bite of. (Don't worry, I shared as well, giving her a bite of my white fish). I did prefer my entree, but hers was good too. :) After dinner, we sat for an hour and talked over several cups of green tea. What a perfect way to end dinner! But then, I am an avid tea drinker. The company was truly enjoyable! I often forget how much I truly miss musical surroundings. We talked music, family, personal lives............everything. Covering several topics of conversation, we definitely got to know each other more. I truly respect my friend. What a blessing to have her in my life. Someone to learn from, as she is a very experienced, wise, well-rounded person; but also a fellow musician to share my field with.

After Emil's, we made our way over to Lyric Opera. It wa a full house. But the operahouse is such an inspiring place for me to be. Actually we were both very excited to be there, as we had been planning this trip for months. We were on the main floor, and we had opera glasses. We got our program and made our way to our seats. Perfect! We were right in front of the stage.

From the moment the overture started, I was in heaven. Here I was, able to be involved (even if just by ear) in what I love most on this earth, hearing top notch artists (Joyce DiDonato, Nathan Gunn, and John Osborne), viewing an opera that is close to my fach of voice. And never have I seen such a perfectly professional production!!!!! Literally in every way---from the staging, to the singing, to the acting, to the playing. And such athleticism. Rossini didn't write for wimps. It takes full athletic ability and strength to sing these roles. So it was good for me to see what will be required of me some day. Now I know why taking care of my body is to important. The coloratura in Barber is very demanding---fast and constant. But I heard every note. The staging was very complex----even when the main characters were doing their thing, the others on stage were still very much a part of the action. For instance, there was one moment when the tenor and soprano are singing of their love, and the two baritones are off to the side, playing a chess game in slow motion, so as not to distract. Fabulously done! Nathan Gunn is a top notch actor. He played Figaro. You humorously meet Figaro as he is getting up in the morning---in only his night shorts. And he played it up! Joyce DiDonato very cleverly gave us all sides of Rosina. And John Osborne held his own both vocally and wittingly!

Needless to say, I got home at midnight. Yes, it lasted three hours. But it was so well done, that it didn't seem like three hours. I could go the rest of my life and never see anything as good as that. Chicago definitely holds its own. And it was so inspiring to me as a young, aspiring artist. To know that that could be the end result of what I am working towards now. WOW!!!!!!!! I walked away with so many questions for my teacher! And I can't wait til tomorrow to ask her! How do they do that! How do they do it physically? How does her voice move that quickly without bumps? How does one become that involved in a character? How! How! HOW!!!!!!!

I can say that I truly felt honored to have heard these men and women sing! I know that sounds trite and shallow coming from a nobody! But what a privilege to share in their art! What a goal they have given me to reach for!

Well, I must go now! This looks to be a busy week for me. My students are giving a studio recital! I have a little work left to do on it! They are all so excited! I am so glad to have been able to give them this opportunity. I will hopefully be performing a few pieces of my own. I'll let you know how it goes!

Encouraging Thoughts from the Eyes of a Musician!

Setting out on your own, growing up, supporting yourself, and starting a career all in one blow is not the easiest thing in the world! Yet that is exactly what I have been attempting to do over the last year and a half. I will not lie to you that it has been an easy, enjoyable ride! No, rather the contrary. It has been very hard. There is a reason we have the term growing pains! But here are the harsh realities:

Setting out on my own: Has been lonely! If I were not so sure that this is a calling that will be used by God in His perfect timing, I would go home to my family. I miss them dearly! So what am I going to do about it? I am thinking about getting a dog! :) A Papillon. Look it up! They are adorable. French for butterfly. So you can see why the artsy in me was drawn by it, as I once sang a piece about a butterfly!

Growing up: Well, a harsh reality that life isn't a bed of roses that little fairies play in from sun up to sun down. Learning that daddy and mommy can't fix it all anymore brings a lot of hurt to a young life. Oh they can give advice and encouragement, but they cannot make the decisions for you. So what am I going to do? I am learning to take life one day at a time, using each moment to grow in the Lord. How special my relationship with Him has become! I am truly learning to take things to Him in prayer!

Supporting myself: Well, I live in Chicago! That should say it all! I work a full time job and run a part time voice studio on the side after my full time job hours. I have learned the importance of reading all the paperwork of my insurance, faced the crisis of paying large doctor bills, now fill my own gas tank, and have learned (kinda) how to make a grocery list and shop for weekly meals! I am big on coupons and clearance racks, and am learning to live within a budget! In recent days I have been forced to learn how to pace myself and conserve energy! So how do I like this? Does it matter?! It is necessary!

Starting a Career: Well, definitely wasn't what I thought it was going to be! But yet I wouldn't change it for the world. After work and teaching, I practice---faithfully every night! I do language study, song study, and research on composer intent! Coupled with my lessons, I am basically doing the equivalent of going to school! What a breath of fresh air and wealth of learning I find in each lesson! I have to be extremely disciplined with my eating, sleeping, exercise, and daily regimen of life, as my body is my instrument. It requires the utmost care. In recent days I have, once again, been forced to realize the importance of taking care of the entire body. I will admit that I haven't done a very good job and have seen the consequences. But I truly believe it is all part of the process of becoming a full time musician. There are so many elements physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that we have to work through!

So is it worth it? Has it been worth it?

Well...........let me put it this way. I asked myself this very question earlier this week! I got slammed with several disappointments all within a few moments (no need to go into them). I literally considered at one moment calling my parents and asking them if I could come home. What a price I have paid and only to get to this point, I thought! Physically deteriorated, mistrusting of people, always tired, always running from one thing to the next, feeling as though I am stuck on a shelf (and mind you, the very back, dark corner of the shelf).

And then I stepped out to a quiet place! I cried, and I prayed. I gave it to the Lord, commiting, once more, to trust and wait.

Later that day I also came across the website of Hilary Hahn, violinist. To read the honest thoughts of a full time musician was so inspiring. The connection you feel with other musicians is unexplainable! I completely understood what she meant when she said that she loved her practicing. They were times of utmost energy when she could lock herself away from everything else and focus on her passion!

As the week went on, yes, I still fought battles in my mind! But life didn't seem so bad! Last night as I walked home from teaching (my student had a fabulous lesson, by the way), I couldn't help but think of how much joy and energy teaching my students--passing along this wonderful art--and being involved in their lives gave me.

And I answered my own question! Is it worth it?

YES! To think that after all the hard work and pain of the daily grind, some day, I get to share my art and my God-given gift with others! I get to do something I love! And on top of all that, when that part of my life is over, I get to retire into something I love---I get to pass along my wonderful art to young lives and voices that will come after me through teaching. What hope!

It literally made me think of the spiritual walk! After the pain of growth and conviction. After the weeding out of sin and the refining of the Master's Hand, we get to experience a God of love and share Him with others around us. And when this life is over, we get to retire into something we love---God and Heaven! What hope!