A Flicker of...............

It was a feeling. An emotion. It came from somewhere deep within. A place that I have long viewed as feelingless in its experiences of hurt and pain. A place as dead and numb for so long--that one would have thought it did not exist at all. I doubled checked to see if it were real. Even looked it in the face and questioned if it were real!

It stared back at me and cried out! Not with pain this time. Not with fear. Not with anger. Not with hurt.

Not this time.

Instead it flickered up, up and up until it reached the top and sprang out.

As the music began to build beneath me, I felt that flicker of, YES, joy, hope, feeling, excitement, anticipation. For a brief moment, fear grabbed hold of it and looked it in the face. But hope looked back. Hope slapped fear in the face and walked past it.

I felt my musical soul return. Could it be? I mean, I actually found myself asking, Could I really be feeling joy in my singing again?

There was no mistake this time. I felt the music move within me. I didn't care what I sounded like. I didn't care what the others thought. I just knew that I loved to sing. God was looking down and smiling once more. Life had returned. Joy and hope, though faint were there. There was a reason to sing! A reason to share once again the gift of music.

Oh how can I keep from singing! If music be the food of love, sing on til I am filled with joy!