There is a First for Everything
So many times in our lives we experience a first moment. Just about when we thought we had been through it all, that one things pops up. It happened to me today.
As I have journeyed and continue to plug along this road toward my dream of singing, each moment has been so new for me. I don't know how many times I have emitted the very words, "I feel so behind, so naive, so inexperienced!" And still I do---even after all I have been through and have experienced.
You know, I look back.............I have been through many competitions, many plays, performed many solos, concerts, and in many ensembles. I mean, it isn't like I haven't been up there and out there. I've auditioned in front of friends and strangers. Each brought a new feel, a new experience.
But I will admit that I was not ready for the disappointment I felt today.
Today, I received my first professional rejection. You know, they say that if you can just get through that first year of "no's" that you will be just fine.
But after today, my question was, "Will I?" In some ways, yes I will be. In some ways, not so much.
Today, I received word from my first professional audition. I had been so excited. Even felt like I sang fairly well. Was so proud of myself for just getting out there, trying, defeating my fears. On top of that, I had been personally invited to the audition for this performance with a Chicago Gilbert and Sullivan Group. For 10 long days I awaited the results.
And today, I got them. "Dear Shellie," it read, "Thank you for auditioning, but we were unable to cast you in this year's production." And you know the rest, "perhaps in the future."
The disappointment I felt. And right before my Indianapolis Audition. I will admit that I really just wanted to cry---and still do. I mean, it really is ok. But well, the feelings and such. The stab in the heart that I feel towards my love of singing.
Oh, it isn't the end of the world. But you can't be on top of it every day, right? I guess I just love to sing SO much that I truly wanted to be a part of this one. To be honest, I want to be a part of them all---why lie!
Someday............
As I have journeyed and continue to plug along this road toward my dream of singing, each moment has been so new for me. I don't know how many times I have emitted the very words, "I feel so behind, so naive, so inexperienced!" And still I do---even after all I have been through and have experienced.
You know, I look back.............I have been through many competitions, many plays, performed many solos, concerts, and in many ensembles. I mean, it isn't like I haven't been up there and out there. I've auditioned in front of friends and strangers. Each brought a new feel, a new experience.
But I will admit that I was not ready for the disappointment I felt today.
Today, I received my first professional rejection. You know, they say that if you can just get through that first year of "no's" that you will be just fine.
But after today, my question was, "Will I?" In some ways, yes I will be. In some ways, not so much.
Today, I received word from my first professional audition. I had been so excited. Even felt like I sang fairly well. Was so proud of myself for just getting out there, trying, defeating my fears. On top of that, I had been personally invited to the audition for this performance with a Chicago Gilbert and Sullivan Group. For 10 long days I awaited the results.
And today, I got them. "Dear Shellie," it read, "Thank you for auditioning, but we were unable to cast you in this year's production." And you know the rest, "perhaps in the future."
The disappointment I felt. And right before my Indianapolis Audition. I will admit that I really just wanted to cry---and still do. I mean, it really is ok. But well, the feelings and such. The stab in the heart that I feel towards my love of singing.
Oh, it isn't the end of the world. But you can't be on top of it every day, right? I guess I just love to sing SO much that I truly wanted to be a part of this one. To be honest, I want to be a part of them all---why lie!
Someday............
posted by Shellie @ 5:33 PM
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